


i'd love you to love me

by risquetendencies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 17:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risquetendencies/pseuds/risquetendencies
Summary: "There is..." Akaashi begins haltingly, mouth cementing shut again as if thinking better of it. Koutarou nods, hoping to coax him on. "There's a confession I've received that I don't know how to turn down.""Oh."Now that it was out, the truth is kind of, well, tame. Definitely less scary than he'd been worrying that it would be."You can't just say no? Or do you know them and that's why it's tough?"Akaashi shakes his head."That's not it. I do know this person, but I can't turn them down because I don't feel safe in doing so."Or, Akaashi gets propositioned by a jerk, and Koutarou comes up with a plan to help him.





	i'd love you to love me

Koutarou wants to be excited.

It isn't often he gets to feel important in a selfless way, it's different from the pride of hitting a game-clinching spike or being a top five ranked ace. During his tenure as an upperclassman, the number of times he'd gotten to exercise his role as a supportive senpai were pitifully low.

He isn't sure why.

His grades are okay, even on the good side in math. Yet he doesn't stand out as the guy you'd ask about homework stuff; it’s kind of understandable if disappointing. Koutarou doesn’t want to crush any hopes by letting his juniors know that organic chemistry isn't his forte, but he’d still like to be asked.

Personal problems he's been told he lacks the delicacy for solving, or that his methods are nonsensical.

And now that he’s in university, Koutarou has lost the upperclassman status before he ever had a chance to make good use of it. People just don’t treat that stuff the same as they did in high school. Koutarou is in his second year now, and it’s abundantly clear that none of the first years here are going to treat him with reverence.

So to be asked for a listening ear should feel gratifying and should be nudging his ego upwards a few notches. But it doesn’t, because before they’ve even started talking, his stomach is coiling into a tangle of knots.

Akaashi looks like he’s considering throwing up, and the faint lines around his eyes are drawn taut with stress. There have been multiple occasions over the past few years that Koutarou has seen Akaashi buckle down during a difficult game, or wear himself out studying for midterms and finals, and he's never looked this miserable.

Koutarou immediately decides he hates it; he has to solve whatever Akaashi's problem turns out to be. No maybes and no wishy-washy ideas for him to experiment with on his own and hope they work. The two of them are going to solve this together and Koutarou isn't going to let those lines ink themselves any deeper onto Akaashi's face. He’s going to erase them or die trying.

Okay not die, that’s overkill after all, but Koutarou is determined. In a personal honor sense, a teammate sense, and a friend one too. And, maybe they haven't ever specified the friend label, but he thinks they fit the bill.

If nothing else, being the sole person Akaashi will share his food with should count for something. That's how Koutarou had known they were friends.

Whenever people try to mooch off his plate, Akaashi gets a certain look on his face. A look like he desires nothing more than to repeatedly stab the offender in the throat with his chopsticks. Yet he'd said nothing when Koutarou had pilfered a rice ball from him the last time they'd had lunch. He'd just continued to graze on his other food. Back then, Koutarou had felt so touched by Akaashi's goodwill that he'd offered to return it, but incredibly, he'd been allowed to eat the rice ball and remain unbloodied.

For a brief moment it had tasted like victory, but then it had tasted mostly like the pickled plum that was tucked within the rice. After two unsatisfying bites, he'd tried to barter it for some of the pork in Akaashi's lunch. Akaashi had not been so generous the second time.

And because they’re friends, Koutarou didn't blame him.

Swinging back around to the present, Koutarou thinks that he'd substitute the murderous glances of old any day for how desolate Akaashi looks seated across from him now.

"Talk to me, 'Kaashi," he urges, leaning forward.

Akaashi only clams up more, lips pursing as if he regrets initiating their talk. His face is pale, weary in a way that nothing but mental anguish could produce, and his posture rigid. He’s on edge, and doesn't seem likely to elaborate on the problem without significant encouragement. Upon realizing that, Koutarou flops back, brainstorming how he can get him to open up.

"Or... we can... why don't you want to tell me about it?"

"I'm concerned it will affect your opinion of me. Negatively."

Koutarou nods in understanding. It’s a start, and gives him a prime opportunity to chip away at his friend's defenses.

"I'll be honest, Akaashi. I think you're great. So I know that's not gonna happen."

Akaashi's gaze remains furtive, but some of the tension in his shoulders fades, his arms unfolding from where they'd been braced against his chest.

Koutarou frowns. Perhaps it was going to take more to get to the bottom of this than he'd thought originally. Undeterred, he moves over, inching next to Akaashi, and gently bumps their shoulders together. 

"Hey, hey, Akaashi, it'll be okay. You've seen me act not awesome sometimes and you still talk to me. If you want, I'll pinky promise not to judge, but we don't need to because I'm your friend no matter what."

Matching their stares, Koutarou drinks in the wariness reflected in Akaashi's murky green eyes.

Once again, he’s struck with how much he dislikes it. Akaashi isn't a loud person, but contrary to other less loud people, he isn't shy either. Maybe a little private, but that’s more of a preference than something he demands. As far as Koutarou knows, Akaashi can handle any situation in life that’s thrown his way. But looking at him now, it’s like the fate of the entire world rests on how Koutarou will react to hearing his problem.

Koutarou balks at the idea that his influence could be that substantial. This is Akaashi. Akaashi never needs advice, and he isn't reliant on him for anything other than performing well when he feels good during a game. Why is  _he_  so nervous? It doesn't make sense.

"There is..." Akaashi begins haltingly, mouth cementing shut again as if thinking better of it. Koutarou nods, hoping to coax him on. "There's a confession I've received that I don't know how to turn down."

"Oh."

Now that it was out, the truth is kind of, well, tame. Definitely less scary than he'd been worrying that it would be.

"You can't just say no? Or do you know them and that's why it's tough?"

Honestly, Koutarou is shocked more for what the issue is than it not matching up to his rampant conspiracy theories. This isn't anywhere close to the first time Akaashi has been confessed to, and he's never had a problem rejecting people. The greater Tokyo area must harbor legions of broken-hearted confessors by now - at least five; Koutarou has lost track. One time a stranger on the street had even stopped them during a shopping trip to ask for Akaashi's email. He'd told her he didn't have one, and had kept walking. It makes sense that another person has fallen for him. What doesn't make sense is why he can't reject them like all the others.

Akaashi shakes his head.

"That's not it. I do know this person, but I can't turn them down because I don't feel safe in doing so."

A chill licks along Koutarou's spine, forcing him to sit ramrod straight.

"Why?!" he blurts out.

"He... I'm sorry, it's one of my male classmates, he hinted that he wouldn't take rejection well even though he's allowing me to think the matter over."

Koutarou wilts at the answer, forcing himself to swallow down the bad taste it gives him.

"That's not cool," he remarks finally, face scrunching as if to illustrate how uncool it really is.

Akaashi shoots him a sidelong glance, one that's guarded and beneath the surface, irritated. Akaashi gets frustrated sometimes, though it's rare and only tends to happen when things don't go according to plan. Like when an opponent’s setter out-strategizes him. Or whenever Kuroo hangs out with them at their apartment. For reasons unbeknownst to Koutarou, Akaashi has never really clicked with Kuroo as well as he's hoped.

"Your opinion of me hasn't changed?" Akaashi prompts when Koutarou prolongs his silent brooding session a bit too long.

"What? No, no, of course not! It's totally this guy's fault for being a jerk. You didn't ask for him to treat you like that."

“No. But-” Akaashi pauses, “You don’t find it strange that it’s a guy?”

Koutarou blinks.

“Should I?”

“Many people would take issue with that, Bokuto-san. I just wanted to make sure.”

Something about his response feels off to Koutarou. Sizing Akaashi up, he tries to figure out what's off about it. Somehow, it seems like there's something Akaashi wasn’t saying when he’d said that. He’d obviously expected him to react differently, that much was clear. But why?

“Well, lots of people like you, Akaashi. All the ones I know have been girls but, it doesn’t seem weird that a guy would?” Koutarou stops as a flash of inspiration strikes him.  _Huh_ , he thinks, maybe that's why Akaashi asked. Opening his mouth again, he continues, “Do you think it’s weird to have a guy confess to you?”

Akaashi either clears his throat or coughs then. One of the two, and he also looks away before responding.

“No, I do not.”

Koutarou stares across at him in what he hopes is an encouraging way. He can be reliable. Akaashi doesn’t have to hold onto whatever he's sidestepping around saying. It feels like they're close to tackling the subject, and Koutarou wants to make sure that he feels like he can be honest. The less bad feelings Akaashi keeps in, the better he’ll eventually feel. Talking to people can be helpful when you're struggling with something. It doesn’t always work, in fact Koutarou rarely wants to talk to people when he's having a bad day, but it's an option. One both his family and his doctor have schooled him on the benefits of. It could help with Akaashi’s stress.

“I prefer them.”

Koutarou’s eyes widen. “Guys?”

“...Yes.”

“Do you like girls too?”

“Not particularly.”

“So, this guy isn’t your type then, or something?” 

“Not at all,” Akaashi grumbles. “Apart from that, I don’t like his attitude. Too entitled.”

Suddenly, Koutarou finds himself very curious. All of this is new information. Not surprising info, per se, considering Akaashi has never really talked about girls that he was into. So it makes sense that he hasn’t if he's gay. Then again, he hasn’t talked about guys he's into either. So that much about his preferences has been mysterious. But even with the new insight he's gained, Koutarou wants to know more.

If he's going to be a good friend, he has to know these things.

“What kinda guy’s your type, Akaashi?”

The first things Koutarou’s mind go to when guys in his class talk about their type of girl is stuff like height, hair color, chest size - basically their looks. Is it the same if you're into guys? What parts do you focus on? It isn’t like guys have boobs to care about whether they're big or small. Would it be muscle size instead, then?

He doesn't get an answer for another minute or so, Akaashi finally saying, “I don’t know that I could describe it.”

Koutarou hums, mildly disappointed. It must not be a specific type of guy, then. Well, in the end it doesn’t matter too much. What matters is fixing the problem Akaashi is having with the person that asked him out.

“Okay, okay,” Koutarou says. “So, that guy - what did he say?”

“At first he simply asked me out, but when I seemed reluctant, he said that... That I should think very carefully about my answer and that he'd wait until tomorrow to hear what it would be.”

"That's it?"

Akaashi’s brows narrow.

"That's all," he confirms.

"What do you think he'll do if you say no?"

"I doubt that it will be anything positive."

Koutarou frowns.

“I don't get that. Aren't you supposed to want the other person to like you too?”

“Usually.”

“So what's his problem then?” Koutarou chips in, feeling his frustration intensify. “Do you want me to talk to him? I could tell him to leave you alone.”

“No. I don't want you to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Just restrain yourself. He's not the sort of person that you can reason with. I wouldn’t want you to get involved with him, Bokuto-san.”

“Well I don't like that guy very much if that's how he's acting!”

Koutarou fidgets in his seat. He feels mad, and fired up, and here Akaashi is telling him not to get involved. But he wants to do something! While he's more than happy to lend a listening ear, this problem makes him want to act too. How, he isn’t sure, other than telling the guy to get lost, but he can’t sit by and do nothing to help.

“I would rather settle this on my own,” Akaashi presses.

“But you’re already stressed out!” Koutarou insists. “That’s why you wanted to talk to me, right? Because it was getting to you. Doesn’t that mean that you could use a little help?”

“I don’t want you talking to him,” his friend repeats firmly.

Akaashi’s face is set in stone. He appears desperate to drive that one request home. Why, Koutarou doesn’t understand. But he can work around it if it really makes Akaashi that uncomfortable for him to tell the guy off. And if whatever the alternative plan is doesn’t work out, then maybe he’ll give the guy a piece of his mind, whether Akaashi approves or not.

“Fine.”

Huffing out a breath to take the edge off his outrage, Koutarou faces forward. He needs to think. There has to be something they can do to fix things.

Akaashi doesn’t want to date this guy. What excuse can get him out of having to? It should be enough that he isn’t interested, but apparently the person isn’t taking no for an answer. So they have to come up with something better. Something that can’t be argued with. It's either that, or Akaashi will have to avoid the guy. But if they're in the same lectures, then that won’t be easy.

No, they have to actually deal with this.

Koutarou tilts his head to the side, glancing over Akaashi again. He isn’t making eye contact, and he seems lost in his own thoughts. Koutarou looks down, noticing his hands, which are settled on his lap. One hand is tugging at the fingers of the other. It's something he’s always known Akaashi to do when he's nervous. Other times too, but him being nervous made sense right now, more than any other reason Koutarou can imagine.

“It’ll be okay, ‘Kaashi. We’ll figure it out,” he reassures him. Impulsively, Koutarou reaches over, putting his hand on one of Akaashi’s hands, pulling it back from messing around with his fingers more. Once it's resting on top of his leg instead, Koutarou lets go.

He is fully intent on keeping his promise.

Some minutes later, an idea occurs to him. It's a simple solution, but perhaps it will still work. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to suggest it.

“What if you had a boyfriend already?”

“What?”

“What if you had a boyfriend? If you’re not single, then obviously you can’t date that guy!”

Akaashi stares at him blankly.

“What are you insinuating, Bokuto-san?”

“Pretend to date someone for awhile, until he gives up. Then everything will be good again, and you can do your class and it won’t even be a big deal,” Koutarou explains, voice laced through with pride. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks it's just simple enough to be completely brilliant.

“I don’t think that will work. He is under the impression that I am single.”

“Just say you were surprised when he asked, so you didn’t think about telling him you were taken!”

Akaashi swallows, not immediately replying. When he does, it's in a hesitant tone.

“And how would that work if he demands evidence?”

“Well, you could ask someone to pretend with you, and then fake it when he’s around. Problem solved.”

“The problem is very much not solved, Bokuto-san. I don’t see how that would work. Also there is the matter of who I could ask to do that for me. They would have to be… comfortable… with what the situation required.”

Koutarou’s nose wrinkles.  _Comfortable with the situation_ , he thinks, trying to parse out the meaning of Akaashi’s words.

“Oh, you mean like holding hands and stuff?”

“If it comes down to that, yes. Ideally, it would not be necessary.”

“Well…” he considers it some more, running through a mental camera roll of their combined friends. Not one second later, Koutarou has a candidate in mind.

“What about Kuroo? He likes guys, and he’s smart so he could probably lie good.”

When he meets Akaashi’s eyes again, Koutarou finds himself on the receiving end of what could only be described as a scathing look.

“I am not asking Kuroo-san to come anywhere near me when it’s in that capacity.” Why Akaashi sounds so disgusted, Koutarou isn’t sure.

“Okay… so not Kuroo.”

“No,” Akaashi repeats. The expression on his face shows no signs of fading.

“Konoha’s around?”

“Konoha-san is straight, Bokuto-san.”

“Oh. Is he?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, what about… Yukie?”

“I am not straight, Bokuto-san. Which this person is well aware of. I don’t believe Shirofuku-san is either.”

“I’m trying to think! It’s tough, okay?”

Akaashi faces forward again, resuming the thing he’d been doing earlier with his hands, only now he tugs on his fingers with a new ferocity. The joints crack loudly as Koutarou watches, brainstorm falling by the wayside for the next several moments.

For not believing in his idea at first, Akaashi sure seems invested in it now.

Koutarou resolves that he has to find a way to make the plan work. There has to be someone out there who was willing and flexible enough to play the role.

He just can’t think of who that might be, so he's grasping at straws now.

“Kenma…?” he tries meekly, knowing it's a bad answer before the words leave his lips.

Akaashi doesn’t bother looking at him that time.

“I think we both know that will be a no.”

In the background, a neighbor's door slams shut, the sound echoing deafeningly through the thin walls separating their apartments. It's the opposite of a soothing soundtrack.

Koutarou sighs, rocking a little where he's sitting. He feels like pacing around the room. Sometimes that jumpstarts his brain when he needs it to function better. Other times it makes him feel more restless, and he feels pretty restless as it is thanks to how useless he's turning out to be for Akaashi. He wants to help him, but so far he isn’t very good at-

“Wait. I mean, what if I was your boyfriend?”

Akaashi’s hands, along with his entire body, freeze.

“I wouldn’t mind doing that stuff to help you out.”

Sensing he might have made a breakthrough, Koutarou gains steam. His voice grows stronger, less uncertain.

“It would be different, but not bad different.”

“No,” Akaashi responds finally, cutting across his speech. “I’d sooner accept Kuroo-san than that.”

Koutarou shrinks back.

“What’s so wrong with me?!”

“Nothing, Bokuto-san. I don’t want you crossing paths with this individual. Thus, you can’t be it.”

“Who is this guy?” he blurts, utterly confused.

This entire conversation, Akaashi has gone on and on about how he doesn’t want him making any contact with the jerk that had propositioned him. Koutarou can’t think of any reason why he’d be so serious about it. What is the guy going to do to him that makes it such a risk for them to meet? It doesn’t seem like Akaashi is worried about anyone else meeting him, so there has to be something specific about him that makes it a bad idea.

“No one that you need to know,” Akaashi says. It doesn’t sound open to negotiation.

Koutarou’s shoulders slump in defeat.

Despite him being involved so far as to try and advise Akaashi, he isn’t being allowed to know the whole story. That bugs him, but he doesn’t know what he can do about it. Akaashi isn’t going to budge if he doesn’t want to discuss the matter. And Koutarou doesn’t know what guy he’d be looking for if he tries to track the offender in question down to demand answers. He's stuck.

“That isn’t a dismissal of your idea. As much as I hate to admit it, if we’re going to test this out, Kuroo-san may be the least painful option for it to succeed.”

He looks up at Akaashi.

“Really?”

“I don’t know that it will work, but I’m willing to try,” he answers.

Koutarou shoots him a faint smile.

“I hope it does work, and that guy leaves you alone.”

“Thank you.”

He pats Akaashi’s knee, feeling a bit of pride well up inside him again.

“Sure thing! I hated seeing you freaked out like that. If you ever got a problem, you can count on me!”

“As long as my problem doesn’t involve you sharing your yakiniku with me?”

Koutarou’s lower lip protrudes in a sudden pout. Glancing over at his companion, he notes the sly edge to Akaashi’s expression. Strangely though, he feels more exhilarated by the teasing than offended. If anything, it means that Akaashi is closer to being normal again.

“You’re the one who never wants to share food, Akaashi!” Koutarou protests, slinging an arm around his shoulders and tugging him closer.

“I distinctly remember sharing my food with you before, Bokuto-san.”

“That was one time!”

“Which counts as one more occasion than you have shared food with me.”

“You don’t have to be all smart about it!” Koutarou hollers.

 

* * *

 

After a quick phone call, as well as seeing Akaashi off to his lone evening lecture, the time came to put the next phase of the plan into action.

The sound of liquid rushing up through a straw surges through his ears while Koutarou waits to hear an answer. Taking the lull in the conversation as an opportunity, he sips his tea. Small sips, because it never feels right to gulp tea down like he does with other drinks. Tea is supposed to be more refined, or at least that’s what Koutarou figures. Even though it's an universal drink, most of the people who have it seem to drink it elegantly.

Across the table, Kuroo swirls the straw in his coffee around, stirring in the flavors more before he takes another slurp of it.

“And you’re sure Akaashi agreed to this?” he poses to Koutarou, one eyebrow rising in disbelief.

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

“Sometimes you assume things, Bo. And sometimes Akaashi uses this thing called sarcasm, which you are so very gifted at recognizing.”

“That’s kind of mean, Kuroo.”

“Exactly, it’s sarcasm.” Kuroo scoops up some of the whipped cream with his straw and inhales it. “Anyway, what I’m getting at is it doesn’t sound like something Akaashi would agree to. So are you sure he wasn’t kidding when he said he would go along with it?”

“He was totally serious!” Koutarou blusters. “You can ask him when he gets here. And I know what sarcasm is; I’m not an idiot.”

As he drinks more of his tea, he finds himself staring across at Kuroo’s drink enviously. It looks sweet enough to drown out the bitterness of the coffee, and sweet kind of sounds good now that he's thinking of it. The tea at this place pales in comparison to the kind Akaashi sometimes made for them at home. Then again, that's one of the perks to having an elegant roommate who knows about tea-related stuff.

“Never said that you were. There’s no shame in not always picking up on a witty line when you hear it. I have faith in you though, so let’s just say that I believe you. What would I have to do as part of this agreement?”

“I don’t know yet. Hang out with Akaashi where the guy sees you?” Koutarou suggests. “I think that’s all you’d need to do.”

“And who’s the guy?” Kuroo asks.

“That’s what I want to know!” he shoots back loudly, all the memories of his earlier conversation flooding his brain. “Akaashi wouldn’t tell me because apparently, he doesn’t want me to run into the guy or something.”

“Now I’m curious,” Kuroo comments around his straw before taking another long, loud sip.

“I don’t know why either. But he was super against me knowing. Kept saying the guy was bad news and that I shouldn’t get involved with him… Wait. Kuroo, what if he’s in a gang? That would totally explain why Akaashi wouldn’t want me to get involved!”

“It would also fill in the blanks as to why he feels fine with throwing me into the middle of this mess,” Kuroo chips in wryly.

“That could be it, couldn’t it?” Koutarou presses him.

“I mean, it could, hypothetically,” Kuroo says. He leans his elbow on the table between them and gestures around with his hand. “Realistically, it’s probably not that dramatic.”

“But if it’s not a big deal, then why is he making it a big deal?”

“I don’t know, buddy. If you’re so concerned about it, why don’t you follow Akaashi and see if you can figure out who it is? Watch him from a distance, and then maybe you’ll start to understand why he didn’t want you to meet him.”

“What if he’s really a bad guy?”

“Then don’t go up to him unless you have to. I’ll be escorting Akaashi, so it should be fine. And also, in case you’re considering doing this for real, don’t blow your cover and let Akaashi see you. I assume he has his reasons for why he’s trying to keep the two of you apart.”

Koutarou sighs.

“This is complicated.”

“Well yes. Hearts are complicated,” Kuroo starts, but just as soon, he quiets down, hastily taking a drink of coffee.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just a saying I heard in my philosophy class.”

“You’re taking philosophy classes?” Koutarou marvels, his eyes widening. It doesn’t really surprise him. Kuroo takes all sorts of smart classes, he just never mentioned that one before.

“ _Was_ taking philosophy classes, last semester.”

“How come I don’t remember it?”

“I didn’t think you’d be interested, Bo. Anyway, how is that tea working out for you?”

“Eh, it kind of sucks.”

“Really? How unfortunate,” Kuroo offers sympathetically.

“Can I try what you’re drinking? To see if I’ll get it instead?”

“While I enjoy your company, buddy, I don’t want to be that close to you.”

“Not even a little sip?” Koutarou whines.

“One word: germs. Alternatively, two words: indirect kiss. I’d rather not go for either of those.”

“But coffee is so expensive! I don’t want to buy it and then hate what I got!”

Beside him, a chair creaks as it's pulled back from the table. A second later, a cup lands in front of the hand Koutarou had balled into a fist on the table’s surface. He blinks at it and then cocks his head to the side in time to see Akaashi lowering himself down into the empty seat.

“You’re early,” he greets him, eyes flitting back and forth between Akaashi and the cup he’d set down. In his hand, there's a second drink. “What’s this?”

“A mocha. Drink it, it’s yours now.”

“Akaashi!” Koutarou exclaims happily.

In that moment, he isn’t sure whether or not to risk launching himself at his friend and potentially spilling the other drink. He's grateful for the act of thoughtfulness, but he also knows better, after ruining more than a few of Akaashi’s shirts over the years.

"You two are cute," Kuroo remarks, smiling crookedly over the top of his cup. 

"Bokuto-san has a problem with buying drinks that appear nice at the time, but aren't to his tastes later." 

Koutarou isn't sure whether that's an insult or not, but considering he's just been given a freebie, he's willing to let it slide if it is. Picking up the mocha, he takes a big gulp. It tastes like a rich hot chocolate; he can't pick up any notes of the coffee. It's delicious.

“Hey, do you want to drink my tea? You can have it, ‘Kaashi!” Koutarou offers when he comes up for air. Offering seems like the right thing to do.

“If I finish my drink, I’ll consider it.”

“Come on, Akaashi. Not going to stay awhile?” Kuroo cuts in, wearing the same smile.

Koutarou doesn’t really get the look on his friend’s face, but then again, he doesn’t get a lot of what goes on when Kuroo and Akaashi talk to each other. He just knows it isn’t all friendly, even if it seems like it is on the surface. Sometimes when they're acting polite, they aren’t really. Or something. It probably has a lot to do with the sarcasm stuff Kuroo mentioned earlier, but he knows he’ll get tired if he tries to translate everything they say.

“Given present company, I’d prefer this outing to be brief.”

Nodding to himself at his wisdom, Koutarou takes another sip of coffee. At least he has something he wants to drink now.

“Okay, then let’s discuss how this whole thing is going to go,” Kuroo says. “We have to prove you’re off the market, so….” He waggles an eyebrow suggestively. “Should we give this guy a show?”

Akaashi’s expression is stone cold.

“If you try to kiss me, I can’t guarantee your ability to have children in the future, Kuroo-san.”

Koutarou chokes on the new sip he was taking, some of the coffee surging down the wrong way. He coughs loudly to expel it, wincing at the uncomfortable sensation in his throat.

“You okay there, buddy?”

“Fine!” Koutarou manages to reply. Beside him, Akaashi shoves the cup of tea he’d given up on back toward him.

“Drink some of this, Bokuto-san. And don’t take such big gulps.”

He acknowledges the advice with a quick nod of his head.

“Well that’s not a big deal, but I guess I’d rather not get knocked in the goods. Anyone got any other ideas?”

“You guys could walk to his class together,” Koutarou says. “Maybe you wouldn’t have to do any couple-y stuff.”

Even as he says it, Koutarou has the distinct feeling that it's a lame suggestion. Akaashi wouldn't be so worked up if this was a problem there was a simple solution to. He knows that. It probably won’t be that easy. But they're trying everything he can think of. Something has to work. No, it  _will_ work, and Akaashi won’t have to deal with the guy anymore.

Right now the toughest part is figuring out how far the plan has to go to be successful. And also balancing that with what Akaashi feels comfortable doing. Kuroo might be a good person for this kind of task, but Akaashi doesn’t feel comfortable with him.

Koutarou frowns, tuning out of the conversation. He stares around the cafe instead as he mulls everything over. It's fairly empty in the evening; there are only a few other students scattered across the room, sitting at the tables by the walls so they can charge their laptops.

A slow, moody pop ballad is streaming through the speakers wired around the room. Not his kind of thing, but it's nice enough. Outside, Koutarou sees people walking past the front window of the cafe in groups of two or three.

It's a quiet, comfortable evening, but he feels anything but at peace. There's a creeping dread inside of him, the kind of feeling he doesn't like to pay attention to until it inevitably grows too big for him to ignore. Though they have a plan for dealing with this problem, Koutarou isn't convinced now that it will work. It isn't as perfect as he'd thought, initially. He just hopes it won't make things worse.

Lifting his cup, he starts sipping at his drink while his mind continues to drift.

It would have been a lot easier if he could be the one to pose as Akaashi's boyfriend.

If it was him, things would go smoother. Akaashi is comfortable with him, and they're close. Koutarou would even go so far as to say Akaashi is his favorite person. They've been friends since high school, and now that they're roommates, they are even more bonded. It wouldn't be hard to act affectionate. He hugs Akaashi a lot anyway. What was holding hands, or even a little kiss to convince the jerk bothering Akaashi that he was taken? Nothing that's a big deal.

Though, the kiss might be different. It is kind of intimate, Koutarou thinks, brows furrowing as he doubles down on his thoughts. And Akaashi is attractive. So even though they're friends and they'd just be pretending to date, it might make things between them feel like a little more than that. Yeah, it might be tough, he decides.

But it still might be better than Akaashi trying to do those things with Kuroo.

Koutarou gazes stormily down into his drink.

There's no reason for it to, but the image sits wrong with him. Probably because he knows Akaashi would hate having to get hands-on with Kuroo. That's all it is.

"Bo. Earth to Bo."

Koutarou looks up, seeing both of his friends staring at him. Whatever their differences, Kuroo and Akaashi are wearing funnily similar expressions. He grins at the observation.

"What?" he asks good-naturedly, all his tense thoughts evaporating in an instant.

Kuroo huffs at him.

"We've been talking all this time, and you're just sitting over there staring off into space. We figured out how it's gonna go tomorrow. Do you have anything else you want to add?"

"No?"

"Bokuto-san, this was your idea in the beginning. Are you certain you don't have anything you'd like to say?" Akaashi asks.

"Nope! I'm sure you guys got it all covered. If you're good, I'm good!"

The incredulity on his friends' faces backs off some, but the way they continue to look at him makes Koutarou feel funny. Funnier than he's already feeling, anyway.

"Okay, so. We know the plan. I guess I'll see you in the morning, Akaashi?"

"I suppose that you will, Kuroo-san," Akaashi replies shortly. Koutarou makes a mental note to make something nice for breakfast.

Food is usually the best way of improving Akaashi's mood, and if he's already irritated about working with Kuroo, it's the least Koutarou could do to make that better. Pancakes, he thinks. Blueberry pancakes might do the trick, with Akaashi's favorite tea and some hash browns and eggs. A whole stack of pancakes. Koutarou knows he can eat all of them. Akaashi rarely has leftovers.

Yeah, that's what he'll do.

The three of them all stand up from the table, donning their coats and getting ready to head home. There's a tension in the air that sets Koutarou back to thinking. He wonders what additional stuff Kuroo and Akaashi had expected him to say, and why the whole Kuroo and Akaashi acting like a couple thing has started to feel weird. There are a lot of uncomfortable thoughts swirling in his mind now, and Koutarou isn't sure how to quiet them down.

He just can't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he's missing something big here.

 

* * *

 

Overseeing his plan play out from a distance isn’t cheating, right?

It's being smart, if anything, Koutarou convinces himself. That way, if something goes wrong, he will be nearby to fix it. Or punch the guy Akaashi is trying to ward off. Hopefully the guy isn’t a boxer, or at the very least, hasn’t been in more than the two semi-fights Koutarou has been involved with in his life. He’ll still punch him, obviously, but the impact will be better if he can hit the guy harder than the guy can hit him.

Not that he really wants to punch anyone, but he's prepared to do it if he has to.

Peering around the corner, Koutarou scans the pathway leading to the outdoor building he's surveilling. It's where Akaashi’s first lecture is. The one he shares with the guy that might have to be punched. There's a good line of sight from this spot, but come to think of it, Koutarou doesn’t know who he's looking for. He lacks a name and even the guy’s basic appearance. Unless Kuroo and Akaashi meet up with him outside, he’ll have no clue who he is. That's a problem. Also a problem is moving in too close, and having Akaashi notice him there. Akaashi has been clear about not wanting him anywhere near the guy. Koutarou had originally planned on respecting those wishes, but that morning, he’d had a change of heart.

This fake dating thing is all his idea, and apart from thinking it up, he's invested. If he can’t help Akaashi directly, then he wants to go all out in helping him indirectly. And that means being there as a backup. Feeling motivated, Koutarou hunkers down, settling himself behind the cover of a row of shrubs. They rise just tall enough to tickle his nose, which is annoying, but he's far enough away that it won’t matter if he can’t hold back a sneeze.

Mere moments later, a stream of students appear on the scene, groups of them walking past his hiding place on their way to class. For the most part, they don’t seem to notice him, though one girl does raise an eyebrow at him and speed up as she strides past.

Koutarou frowns.

It isn’t… weird right? If she knew why he was here, then she’d understand.

Yeah, she’d get it, he decides a moment later, shaking off the thought. Still, he tries to shrink himself down in height, dropping his shoulders and tucking his head forward. The shrubs are at eye level now. They don’t tickle anymore, but it isn’t the most comfortable state of affairs.

Sitting there, he watches as ten or more students go by, all until he spots a familiar head lagging behind the crowd. Unlike the girl before, though, this passerby doesn’t notice him. And even though Koutarou is trying to be secretive, something in him can’t resist the urge to call out.

“Kozume!”

Kenma straightens up suddenly from where he’d been bent over his phone’s screen, looking around warily for the voice’s source.

Koutarou waves, getting up on his knees so that Kenma can see all of his face. That way he doesn’t look suspicious to him, too. For some reason, though, Kenma’s expression hardly changes. He inches off the pathway toward the shrubs, but keeps at least two steps’ distance between them.

“I didn’t know you had classes over here! I thought you were doing computer stuff,” Koutarou begins.

“Mm, I… needed a credit… in humanities.”

Curiosity satisfied, Koutarou nods. When the silence between them moves past a couple of seconds, he digs around in his mind for something else to say. But nothing surfaces. Still, he thinks that it would have been rude to ignore someone who he knows walking past.

“...My class is in a couple of minutes,” Kenma says.

“Oh! Maybe you should go then.”

“Yeah.”

The other man shifts on his feet awkwardly. If Koutarou didn't know any better, it looks like he's holding back on saying some other stuff. Yet, whether he is or not, Kenma starts to turn away, hands raising his phone higher again.

Just then, inspiration comes to light.

“Do you know if Kuroo’s coming soon?” Koutarou interjects. “I’m kinda waiting for him.”

“Behind the bushes?”

“Well, I don’t want him to see me!”

Kenma peers at him oddly.

“He has a study group until eleven. Until eleven exactly, and he can’t leave early. Or so he said, three times, for some reason….”

"No he doesn't!" Koutarou says without thinking. "He's helping me out with something today!"

"Which is?"

"It's kind of a long story-"

"I don't have time for-"

Kenma's quiet mumble is drowned out by the sounds of approaching footsteps, and people talking loudly. Given the hour and the situation, Koutarou's instincts take over. Surging forward, he gets ahold of Kenma's sleeve, gently urging him behind the shrub next to him. Thankfully, when Koutarou pulls on the sleeve, he actually moves. Otherwise it would have been weird. Either that, or he would have wound up tripping Kenma. If he's sure of anything, it's that tripping Kenma wouldn't work with the whole illusion of secrecy he's going for.

Among other things. But by the time the next influx of students rounds the corner, Kenma and he are both safely kneeling behind plant cover.

"Did you see those guys? They were doing it. Fucking holding hands, out there in the open!"

"Gross, man."

"I missed it! You're fucking with me, aren't you Toshi?!" 

Peeking through a gap in the shrubs, Koutarou watches the shoes belonging to one of the students come to an abrupt stop. They then turn, facing the other two pairs on the pathway behind them.

"If you weren't so busy with checking your Insta feed, you woulda seen it too."

"I don't  _want_  to see it!"

"Me neither," the third voice chimes in enthusiastically.

Recognition dawns on him, and Koutarou's heart sinks.

They have to be talking about Akaashi and Kuroo. He can't think of anyone else the group could mean. The timing fit too well, and there probably aren't any other guys on campus letting themselves be seen holding a fellow guy's hand. Now that Koutarou was thinking of it, such a sight wasn't one he'd seen before. Judging by the reaction he's eavesdropping on, anyone who might have wanted to probably didn't, for fear of being ridiculed. It seems unfair, but he imagines that backlash is a good enough motive for people to keep that kind of a relationship a secret.

_“No. But-” Akaashi pauses, “You don’t find it strange that it’s a guy?”_

_“Should I?”_

_“Many people would take issue with that, Bokuto-san. I just wanted to make sure.”_

Had Akaashi been scared of guys like the ones standing nearby? Worse, had he really believed Koutarou would have the same reaction as them once he knew he was only into guys?

No. Koutarou shakes his head firmly. 

It doesn't matter. Akaashi has every right to be hesitant about something so personal. Especially when it's controversial to many people. Him feeling that way doesn't undermine the trust they have between them as friends, and it isn't something Koutarou thinks he should let gnaw at him. He can't be mad at Akaashi for fearing the worst. After all, now that he really knows what it's like, how people talk about it, all Koutarou feels is upset. A little stupid, too.

Now because of the plan he'd thought up, people are mocking two of his best friends. What the other students on campus think about them is a mark on their reputation that probably won't ever fade. And it's his fault they have to go through that. For his plan, which might not work. Even if it does, even if Akaashi doesn't have to deal with the one rude guy anymore, what's to stop other people from messing with him afterward?

The truth is, all this means is that no matter how much he wants to, Koutarou can't protect him. It was foolish of him to think he could.

"What's wrong with them?" he mutters sadly, shifting where he was crouched. Beside him, he feels more than sees Kenma turn to look at him.

"I can guess, but... I hope this isn't what Kuro is helping you with."

Koutarou nods solemnly, feeling his face scrunch as his emotions start to magnify. Frustrated tears work their way to the surface. He doesn't want to cry, but he knows his body isn't going to let him have a choice. He never does have a choice past a certain point. This time at least, there's a reason for it. No one can say he's being irrational for reacting this way. Not unless they were just like the guys who are now walking away from his hiding spot, hating others for things they can't change about themselves.

"I know I messed up," he cuts in, voice rough.

"It's not like you made him do it," Kenma says. It's hard to tell what he's thinking, though, when his face is as blank as it is then.

Koutarou sniffles.

He isn't sure what to do now. The mistake can't be fixed. It's up in the air whether the plan will work. Does he stay and see it through, or does he go home and prepare for the worst? The worst meaning he’d have to apologize, to both his friends, for having a dumb idea that dragged them both through the mud, figuratively speaking.

Hanging his head, he tries to clear out the thoughts swirling in his brain so he can think better. Clean slate, Koutarou thinks, and then he’ll be able to figure out his next move. He doesn’t have to give into what his emotions want. It's hard not to, but every once in a great while, he can fight the impulse. He needs that to happen now.

Koutarou presses both hands to his face, covering it. He lets out a steadying breath.

It does nothing.

The same cocktail of sadness and frustration is raging beneath the surface after he exhales, and it feels as potent as ever. But maybe with time, he begins to think, rocking his body back and forth unconsciously. Maybe if he gives it more time-

His eyes flicker open, and, directly through the shrub’s branches, he sees new shoes traipsing the pavement. Ones he knows, and another pair whose owner he can guess.

Straightening up where he sits, Koutarou studies his friends’ slow progress.

Neither Kuroo or Akaashi are talking, and the looks on both of their faces are impressively unreadable. Just like Kenma’s, Koutarou notes idly. How are they all so good at that? They can hide what they're feeling, even if they're feeling it strongly. That's impossible for him, so he doesn’t understand it.

Still, he backtracks, their body language is a little… tense. That at least makes sense.

Koutarou’s eyes move downward as they pause on the path, trailing lower until his gaze lands on their linked hands. The more he stares, the more it makes him feel funny. Something about it feels wrong, like their hands aren’t meant to fit together. But they do, so that isn’t it. What is it?

“Do you know what you’re going to tell him?” Kuroo asks.

“More or less,” Akaashi answers, sounding tired. “I doubt the outcome will be good. I just hope he will not make good on his threat.”

Koutarou hears Kuroo laugh stiffly. It isn’t the way he laughs when he actually thinks something is funny. It's more like something he’d do right before giving a sarcastic suggestion. That probably means he thinks the situation is helpless, too, just like Akaashi is acting like it is.

Why though? They haven’t even gone through with the plan yet, and met the guy. And what did Akaashi mean by a threat?

He finds it very hard to sit there, but somehow, Koutarou manages. Instead, he focuses on listening. His eyes, though, keep darting back to Kuroo and Akaashi’s hands, which are still threaded loosely together. They can probably let go, he thinks. The guy isn’t there. Why did they need to keep the act up when there isn’t anyone around?

“Now that I know what it is, I can’t blame you. But you know that Bo probably wouldn’t either, right?”

Koutarou’s stomach clenches at hearing his name. How is he involved?

Akaashi stares daggers at Kuroo. The fierceness of it only causes Koutarou’s stomach to tighten more, and the uncertainty swirling in his mind proves overwhelming. Why is Akaashi so angry, and what does Kuroo mean, that he wouldn’t blame Akaashi? Akaashi has never done anything to him, so of course he wouldn’t be upset with him. What did any of that that have to do with this random guy?

“I don’t need your _wise counsel_ , Kuroo-san,” Akaashi says sharply, the words dripping with alternate meaning. “I have already made my choice. I don’t particularly care if you think it’s the wrong one.”

“Hey there!” Kuroo snaps back. “No need to get so heated with me. I’m just saying that it’s not as big of a deal on his end as you think it might be. I don’t want some asshole trampling on his reputation either, but you know, I think Bokuto would care more about what this is putting you through.”

“I know he would. It’s that about him…” Akaashi’s voice seems less caustic now, “That’s a part of why I feel compelled to go through with this.”

“What a diplomatic answer,” Kuroo chips in, looking unimpressed. “You won’t even admit it now, when you know that I probably know already.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Kuroo-san. You’re beginning to ramble.”

“Forget it. You  _know_  what I’m talking about, you’re just a stubborn ass. Do you still want to try this plan or not?”

“Yes.”

“Well then,” Kuroo lets out a loud huff. “We should probably go and get this shit-show over with.”

“The sooner, the better,” Akaashi agrees tartly.

And with that, the pair begins walking again, hand in hand despite their argument. Koutarou watches them cross the lawn to where the lecture is being held. Once they're near the entrance, he drops his gaze. He feels unsettled. Maybe coming to spy on everything hadn’t been his greatest idea after all.

He knows some things now, but he only half knows them. Koutarou wouldn’t say he understood what everything he’d heard means. But he has a feeling that, in the end, the plan the three of them had teamed up on isn’t going to succeed.

There's no point in being here, he concludes. Going home and waiting is the better option.

Next to him, the shrubs rustle, drawing his attention. Koutarou glances to the side, and does a double take at Kenma. He’d been so focused on eavesdropping on their friends’ conversation that he’d sort of forgotten he was there.

It doesn’t help that Kenma is a really quiet guy, either. Kuroo is the only one who’s ever been good at keeping tabs on him. Koutarou assumes it's because they're close, like best friends since forever close. Kuroo seems to know everything about Kenma, so knowing where he was or where he might be is just part of that.

A sudden thought strikes him, and as soon as it processes, his mood sours further.

They probably tell each other everything. Koutarou had thought he had the same kind of bond with Akaashi, but it doesn’t seem like that's true now. Because apart from not telling him who was harassing him, Akaashi had kept it from him why he was actually worried about it. From what he gets now, the guy wants to… damage his reputation? Not Akaashi’s, but  _his_  of all people. Did that mean Koutarou knows him? Or did the guy just know him?

It doesn’t really make sense.

“So that’s what Kuro is helping with,” Kenma says, cutting through his stream of thought. “They’re…”

“Pretending to be boyfriends, yeah,” Koutarou finishes moodily. “There’s someone who wanted to go out with Akaashi. A real jerk. I don’t think it’s gonna help anymore, though.”

Kenma looks at him, and this time the lack of obvious sentiment on his face is frustrating. Everything feels frustrating right now for him, and he doesn’t know how to stop. Koutarou balls up his fists on his lap, glancing away to one of the brick walls nearby and planting his gaze there. He clenches his fingers but it only seems to stoke the emotions building up inside.

“It doesn’t sound like it,” Kenma states. He pauses, but then continues, “Kuro is a pretty shitty actor. But it might pan out.”

Koutarou hums a faint note of acknowledgment, but doesn’t say more.

“It’s obvious they don’t like each other, too. That might tip the person off.”

“They sure can hold hands though,” he grumbles, glaring pointedly at the wall. Thinking about it now still irks him. They didn’t have to do it all the way through the campus. Maybe that’s what Kuroo and Akaashi had agreed on for their plan beforehand, but it isn’t necessary.

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, but what if they have to kiss or something? That’ll mean a lot of things!” Koutarou explodes, feeling his control slip. Immediately after, he jerks his head back to look at Kenma, momentarily afraid he’s maybe freaked him out.

But somehow, Kenma doesn’t seem bothered. His hands are busy, one clasped around his phone, the other tapping at something on the screen. The banality of it makes Koutarou lose a little steam, and he forces himself to unclench his fists.

“Kuro wouldn’t kiss Akaashi.”

“How do you know that? Akaashi wouldn’t like it, yeah, but they might have to, to prove to the guy-”

“Kuro’s only allowed to kiss me.”

The line gives Koutarou even more reason to pause. Several thoughts fly through his head then, and slowly he pieces things together.

Kuroo and Kenma are often together, and they're roommates too. They know each other scarily well. And now Kenma is telling him he's sure Kuroo would never - Koutarou brushes away the rest of that thought. Instinctively he knows he doesn't want to imagine it. It's bad enough seeing what he had seen Kuroo doing. And Kenma is sure he wouldn't do that other thing, because....

Finally, it hit him.

"You're dating!" he bursts out, his eyes wide with surprise.

Kenma doesn't raise his head, though Koutarou feels like his face gets redder, what bits of it that aren't shielded by his hair, anyway.

"Have been for awhile," he supplies quietly.

"Huh, you see... I always thought Kuroo was super into you," Koutarou says, brandishing a finger in his direction. "I don't know why I didn't notice it before that you two are... wait-"

Something else occurs to him, and a split second later, his mouth is on the move.

"Your place is only one room. Does this mean you guys... ya know..." he begins to ask, one eyebrow quirking curiously.

Kenma sits up from his phone, shooting him a withering look. Koutarou immediately recoils. Okay, so maybe asking that specifically is going too far. Still, now that he has this information, he has a lot of questions. Questions that are probably best left for later. And for Kuroo to answer. Number one being why hadn't Kuroo ever bothered to tell him about this to begin with.

Koutarou's lips settle into a pout.

He's starting to get the feeling that maybe people don't tell him a lot of things. Either that, or he's truly bad at realizing stuff on his own without being told. Whatever the truth is, it isn’t a great epiphany to face down.

 

* * *

 

Back at the apartment, Koutarou does his best to wait. He slogs through some of his coursework, cleans his bedroom, and even organizes the kitchen cupboards. Anything he can think of to pass the time until Akaashi returns home.

When he can’t come up with any more chores to do, he sits in the living room and watches television. His mind drifts however, unable to focus on what is on the screen in front of him. Eventually even his ears tune out and he lays his head against the back of the couch, trying not to hear the tick of the clock on the wall.

Akaashi is late. It’s later than he usually gets home.

Koutarou isn’t sure how to take that fact. He’s not sure whether it means the plan worked out well or not for him. It could be either. For all he knows, maybe Kuroo and Akaashi are out celebrating… without him.

Grimacing, Koutarou reaches for the blanket nearby, and drapes it over his shoulders. It’s warm from hanging over the edge of the couch near the space heater, and he nuzzles into it gratefully, allowing his thoughts to unravel.

If things went well, then he should be happy. Happy that he helped Akaashi with a problem that was stressing him out so much. And he would, but the idea of his friends out celebrating without him is causing his mood to sour. Simply put, he hates the idea of it. And for once, he knows it isn’t because he knows Akaashi dislikes Kuroo.

He feels jealous.

There’s no other way to say it. That’s what he feels when he thinks about it.

Koutarou’s grimace deepens, and he pulls his blanket cape tighter around him. Half of him wants to tunnel under the blanket completely, but he fights the urge. After all he’s still waiting. He isn’t going to slack off and take a nap at a time like this. Akaashi might be home any second. Hopefully he is, so Koutarou can stop thinking about what else he might be doing. With Kuroo. Or someone else, even. Someone who isn’t him.

Now that he has the space alone to think, Koutarou examines his feelings.

If he’s jealous, then what does that mean, exactly? Does he want to be celebrating with Akaashi? How would he do that then?

They’d probably go out to eat somewhere, maybe Akaashi’s favorite restaurant, on Koutarou’s treat. If he could swing it, he’d take Akaashi out to karaoke afterward, and wheedle him into singing a duet with him. He always enjoyed that. Akaashi has kind of an awkward voice for singing, but he enjoys listening to it nonetheless. It was always a toss up whether Akaashi would go for karaoke though; if it was just them, Koutarou likes to think he’d agree.

Yeah, that's probably what they'd do.

Then they'd come home together, and watch the drama that's been on their shared watchlist for the past month. They'd been saving it for a rainy day, but what better way to cap off a night of all the best things than watching something they'd both enjoy? Watching it would probably make them drowsy, and they'd huddle together on the couch. Akaashi would fit perfectly under his arm and he'd fall asleep first, leaving Koutarou to support his weight and feel his warmth against his side before drifting off himself.

Koutarou likes watching him sleep. Not that he does it often, or anything, but on the rare occasions he's seen Akaashi sleep, it's always made him feel strangely peaceful. Probably because that's how Akaashi looks while asleep - like he has zero cares in the world. It's a stark contrast to the him of waking hours.

Letting go of his blanket cape, Koutarou taps his fingers on his knee, feeling thoughtful.

It's a nice fantasy, he decides. But something about it is lacking.

He feels like he wants more. Which is probably really greedy of him, but he can't help it. The more he stews over the idea, the more he thinks that the idea isn't as complete as it could be.

But what would complete it?

Combing through his thoughts, he replays the night in his head, going over the details. The larger ones seem fine. He'd definitely want to take Akaashi out somewhere to celebrate their victory. That can stay. Karaoke can be exchanged for any fun activity, but the food part is a must. And part of him doesn't want to give up on the drama watching at home either, and the physical closeness it would provide. 

Huh, thinks Koutarou, as he mulls that over. Physical closeness.

He's always been like that with Akaashi. Hanging on him, patting him on the back, hugging him. He can't imagine that not being a part of their celebration. A high five just wouldn't have the same impact. Still, he thinks he's onto something there. What if that's what his brain is getting at?

Brows furrowing, Koutarou imagines a possibility.

_They're in the private karaoke room, and have just finished the last of many duets for the night. Koutarou plops down on the booth's seat and lets out a satisfied sigh. Akaashi is standing nearby, and when he sees Koutarou go to sit, he walks towards the side of the table where he's at._

_"Bokuto-san."_

_Koutarou lifts his head eagerly._

_"Yeah?"_

_"I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. For your plan, and also for this, tonight," Akaashi says, dark eyes oddly soft in Koutarou's imagination. "I feel relieved beyond measure. And it's all due to your efforts."_

_Brightening up, he flashes Akaashi a grin._

_"I told you I'd fix the problem!"_

_"Yes, you did," is the simple reply._

_Akaashi steps closer, and Koutarou, thinking nothing of it, continues to smile. He feels elated. After all, he's riding on cloud nine after the success of his plan. Now Akaashi can go back to his usual university life without distractions, and Koutarou can have his roommate and friend back to normal. It's a win-win situation._

_All the difficulties of the past two days melt away in that moment as he basks in the contentment this victory offers. Koutarou watches Akaashi, and as if he's contagious, a small smile works its way onto the other's face. Upon witnessing it, his own grin broadens._

_This is good, he thinks. This is what he'd wanted ever since Akaashi first came to him with the problem. This is the look he'd wanted to see!_

_"Thank you again. It went off without a hitch."_

_"I'll say! Even though you had to work with Kuroo, you guys made it happen."_

_Akaashi's smile chips away some._

_"Yes, there is that. Actually, can I say something, Bokuto-san?"_

_"Say what's on your mind, Akaashi! I'll listen," he retorts enthusiastically, not sure what he means but willing enough to hear it out anyway._

_Akaashi's face shifts from joy to something more conflicted._

_"It went off without a hitch, but still, if I had to say, I would have preferred the plan to play out differently. Working with Kuroo-san... it doesn't appeal to me. You are aware of that." He pauses just long enough for Koutarou to nod in response. Then, he continues, voice gaining strength as it goes on, "I... would have preferred you. If you had been the one to work with me, then it would have been truly perfect."_

_Koutarou blinks owlishly._

_"Me?"_

_Akaashi steps forward again, nodding._

_"Yes, Bokuto-san. I should have been doing those things with you."_

_He's close, Koutarou thinks with a lightning bolt of awareness. His eyes scan the ever disappearing gap between them, and he quickly gulps down the lump that forms in his throat. He stares at Akaashi, who stares almost stubbornly back at him. He's so close, he thinks again, feeling a little helpless as the butterflies in his stomach go wild. Koutarou isn't sure what to do or think at this point._

_All he knows is that his heart is beating double-time, and he's struck by Akaashi's words._

_"Why me?" he asks in a whisper._

_"I think you know why, Bokuto-san," Akaashi answers, and this time, the emphasis he puts on his name feels strangely thrilling._

_Then, he starts to move in even closer, which has the opposite of a calming effect on Koutarou's heart. Though Akaashi is going slowly, he can't help but think of a million different scenarios for where this is going, other than the most obvious one. Because that can't be it, he can't be trying to ki-_

Just then, he's jolted out of his daydream by the slamming of the front door of the apartment.

Jumping where he's seated, Koutarou feels his pulse rev, and his face go pink. But, given the situation, he quickly shakes it off in favor of trying to look innocent.

Not even a minute later, he hears footsteps, and then Akaashi himself is walking into the room, looking much different than the Akaashi of Koutarou's imagination. Instead of relieved and happy - and alluring, Koutarou adds guiltily in his mind - he seems haggard, lost, and defeated. That proves enough of a motivation to fully rouse Koutarou into action. The daydreams can wait.

"Hey, hey Akaashi," he starts. Akaashi pauses in the living room's front half and looks at him despondently. "How did it go?" 

The frown on Akaashi's face only deepens. He turns to face him.

"He has no intention of leaving me alone."

Koutarou's eyes widen.

"What?!"

He watches as the cast of Akaashi's jaw tightens, and it's a long few seconds before he works himself up enough to answer. When he does, he sounds infuriated.

"He insinuated that he knows that I'm not actually dating anyone, and that even if I were, he doesn't care. To paraphrase his words, 'going out on dates' wasn't what he wanted from me to begin with. I'll let you fill in the blanks there."

Koutarou feels rage coil inside his stomach as he listens, and when Akaashi's done speaking, he erupts. "What a jerk!"

It's horrific, really. Part of him can't believe someone would be so callous and demanding like that, but most of him is just angry that someone would act that way towards Akaashi. Akaashi, who deserves the best sort of guy, someone who appreciates all of him, not just his looks. Who doesn't just want him for... for things, Koutarou finishes in his own mind, unwilling to say the word even internally. It disgusts him to think of his best friend being treated that way, so he won't say it.

Akaashi is... the best sort of person, in his opinion. He's smart, talented, logical, and reliable. Yes, he also is easy on the eyes, but that's just such a little part of it! It shouldn't even matter.

Fuming, Koutarou's hands curl into fists on his lap.

"What are we going to do?" he groans, brain already working on the problem. 

Akaashi shakes his head.

"I'm not sure what the next step is. Or if there even is one," he finishes, sounding sadder than previously.

"Of course there's a next step!" Koutarou insists. "You can't just give up and let this guy treat you like that! I won't allow it."

Unbidden, the memory of the three guys from earlier today resurfaces, and he rehears their disparaging comments about Kuroo and Akaashi holding hands. The recollection makes him even more determined. If this is the way people are treating Akaashi, he's gotta do something.

Still, that probably means he should own up to his behavior. Akaashi still doesn't know he went there today.

Swallowing quickly to clear the lump in his throat, Koutarou opens his mouth again.

"I... I followed you guys today. Sort of. I was in one spot! But I saw you walking to your class, and I watched from there for awhile. I heard you guys talking..." he rambles, feeling his nerves soar with each new word of his admission. He knows Akaashi is probably going to snap at him, but he has to tell the truth.

On cue, Akaashi looks at him, his face a mask of pure bewilderment.

"You did what, Bokuto-san?"

He jumps to justify his actions.

"I just wanted to keep an eye on things!"

For a second, it does look like Akaashi is ready to snap at him. But then miraculously, his anger fades, and is replaced by sadness instead.

"You know what? It doesn't matter."

Koutarou immediately feels a sense of disbelief. After all the times Akaashi warned him away from meeting the guy, and he's not mad when he admits he followed them anyway? Sure, he didn't technically  _meet_  the guy, but he still went against Akaashi's wishes in this situation. Such a bland answer is questionable.

“Wait. You’re not mad at me?” he asks softly.

Akaashi joins him on the couch. He slumps his shoulders and leans his face into the palm of his hand. Then he answers.

“I don’t have it in me to be mad at anyone right now.”

"...'Kaashi, what happened exactly?"

His friend hefts a sigh.

"We went to meet with him, Kuroo-san and I, and we presented ourselves to him as a couple. But... he didn't buy it. He ended up getting angry, and what he told me was that he 'obviously didn't make himself clear enough before' and that now there will be consequences for me rejecting him. He didn't listen to a thing I had to say," Akaashi finishes, eyes staring blankly ahead.

Beside him on the couch, Koutarou is quiet. He can't think of what to say, so he watches Akaashi in the intervening seconds instead.

Slowly, the expression on Akaashi's face shifts to something more emotive. His brows furrow and his lip wobbles slightly. Watching it alarms Koutarou, but he still doesn't jump in to say anything just yet. He feels like his voice has dried up for the moment, stuck in his throat until he regains some kind of inspiration.

Akaashi is the next one to speak.

"I'm very sorry, Bokuto-san. I never meant to involve you like this."

Koutarou raises an eyebrow. Involve him?

"What? Why are you saying sorry to me?" he blurts out.

Though, he can probably guess, he thinks in a flash, as more memories repopulate his brain.

_“More or less,” Akaashi answers, sounding tired. “I doubt the outcome will be good. I just hope he will not make good on his threat.”_

_“Now that I know what it is, I can’t blame you. But you know that Bo probably wouldn’t either, right?”_

_“I don’t need your wise counsel, Kuroo-san,” Akaashi says sharply, the words dripping with alternate meaning. “I have already made my choice. I don’t particularly care if you think it’s the wrong one.”_

_“Hey there!” Kuroo snaps back. “No need to get so heated with me. I’m just saying that it’s not as big of a deal on his end as you think it might be. I don’t want some asshole trampling on his reputation either, but you know, I think Bokuto would care more about what this is putting you through.”_

_“I know he would. It’s that about him…” Akaashi’s voice seems less caustic now, “That’s a part of why I feel compelled to go through with this.”_

From what he can tell, the jerk who is bothering Akaashi had threatened him somehow. Something about ruining Koutarou's reputation. Why or how he came up with that notion, Koutarou isn't sure. He doesn't know who the guy is to begin with, so how did he know about  _him_?

"I... His terms for me accepting his proposal were that if I didn't, he'd make sure no scout would ever touch you for the pros. He said he'd make sure they thought badly of you. His father has some pull with the league, as far as I'm aware..." Akaashi explains, pointedly not looking at him.

Koutarou's brows only lift higher.

Scouts? He knows reputation does matter to some extent, but it's more about how you play. And he knows when he's on his game, he plays well enough to catch the eye of any scout. That's not a problem. He won't let it be a problem, because he's determined to live out his dream.

But even if it was a problem, he doesn't exactly regret it. If the idea is that it's Akaashi's happiness or his, and he can only have one, Koutarou knows which he'd choose.

“But why me, because we’re friends? You know I don’t care about-”

“No, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi interrupts him sharply. His eyes flash with sudden emotion, darkening in the process. He swallows visibly, seemingly trying to collect his words. Then, he continues, “I… I care for you, more than I should. That’s why he wants to use you to get at me.”

Koutarou is floored. There's no other way to describe it.

Akaashi... likes him? How is that possible? Since when he has liked him? Why has he never noticed? What does this mean for them, moving forward? That, and a thousand other questions flood his mind in the wake of the words and Koutarou is stuck trying to rifle through them all like he's looking for a lifeline to grab onto. He feels set adrift in a sea of possibilities that he never really considered.

If he's being honest, he's only just started to realize that he feels something for Akaashi that goes beyond friendship. So to now know that the feeling is mutual?

It's a lot to process. And he's not sure how to.

“Akaashi, do you mean…?”

The other man gives a curt nod.

“Yes. I like you. As more than a friend, if that needs clarifying.”

Immediately, Koutarou’s face flushes with heat, cheeks pinkening up in an instant. He quiets down for the next minute or so, trying to process the confession.

“I’m sorry if it disgusts you.”

His senses swiftly return.

“No, not at all!” he blurts. “Actually,” he adds as inspiration takes hold.

Scooting over on the couch, he gets himself closer to where Akaashi’s sitting and gazes at him. He’s only half sure of what he wants to do, but he knows he needs to get closer in any event. Whether he’s talking or acting his way out of this, he needs to be close.

“Akaashi, would it be okay if I said I might like you back?”

Stunned is the best way to describe Akaashi’s face in the intervening seconds.

“Are you certain?”

Koutarou shakes his head.

“Not totally. But like, I really hated it that you had to do all this today with Kuroo. That he got to be your fake boyfriend. I kept thinking ever since we decided on it that it would have gone smoother if I had been your boyfriend. I kept thinking that really, it  _should_  be me. I  _wanted_  to be it. So I uh, think that might mean I like you.”

Akaashi stares at him for a few silent seconds before responding.

“I see… That sounds… plausible. But, what if you don’t, Bokuto-san? That doesn’t necessarily mean that you feel the same way I do.”

Except to him, it seems more than plausible. The more he considers the notion, being in love with Akaashi, the surer Koutarou feels. 

They've always been close. More than close, really, more like inseparable. At first he'd thought it was because they were really good friends, but the thing is, he has other really good friends. And he's not half as reliant on them as he is with Akaashi. He doesn't dream about them in his sleep, or think about the future with them in the same way he does with Akaashi. He loves them, but it's in a different way. With Akaashi, it's like he couldn't bear not to see his face every day. The first year he was in university and Akaashi was still in high school had been rough for that exact reason.

Koutarou needs him in a way he doesn't need anyone else. 

And he burns for Akaashi to need him the same way. It's why he's been so adamant about helping him with all this. It had felt good to know that he was giving back as good as he gets.

No, he's pretty sure he likes Akaashi, but there has to be a way to confirm it.

Almost instantly, his brain provides an idea, and his face flushes bright red. Akaashi stares at him funnily.

"Are you alright, Bokuto-san?" 

“Hey, could I maybe uh?”

Koutarou scoots even closer, until his leg is brushing Akaashi’s on the couch cushions. He leans in until their noses are nearly brushing and continues to stare at Akaashi, whose face grows red too. Out of instinct, he places a hand on Akaashi’s shoulder and licks his lips.

“Uh,” he repeats himself, trying to work up the courage to move forward.

“Yes, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi whispers tremulously, meeting his eyes head on.

He chooses not to answer him in words.

Leaning in even more, he places a gentle kiss on Akaashi’s lips, practically nuzzling them with his own. His free hand rises to cup Akaashi’s cheek, holding him still.

For several seconds, Akaashi doesn’t move, sitting there in his embrace like a stone. Then he murmurs against Koutarou’s lips and kisses back, tilting his head to connect with him more firmly. Their lips slide over each other again and again until Koutarou starts to feel bold. He desires more and that desire rises in him swiftly, overpowering his better sense.

His hand drops from Akaashi’s cheek to his chest. He splays his fingers over it and surges forward, tongue glossing over his bottom lip. More noises are elicited from Akaashi before he responds in kind, parting his lips to allow Koutarou access.

Koutarou slips his tongue inside, running it smoothly over the hot surface of Akaashi’s tongue and tracing his teeth. After just the one foray, he starts to feel breathless, so he pulls back. But Akaashi gives chase, bossily prodding inside Koutarou’s mouth with his own tongue. He repeats the same motions as his hands wander, finding purchase on Koutarou’s strong arms. He runs his fingers over the muscle there, intermittently squeezing at his biceps.

The movements feel unfairly enticing, and slowly, Koutarou starts to realize his control is ebbing away. And that's not what he needs right now, so he backs off, effectively putting a stop to the kiss. He grabs Akaashi's shoulders instead and flashes him a consolatory smile.

“…I think I do like you, Akaashi.”

Mercifully, Akaashi smiles back at him.

“I can tell.”

"Would you want.... maybe... to be my real boyfriend?"

Akaashi's smile trembles on his lips.

"Are you being completely serious right now, Bokuto-san?"

Koutarou nods emphatically.

Slowly, Akaashi looks down, and then back up again. When he does, he seems set, his eyes shining with pure happiness.

"Yes. I'd like nothing more."

Koutarou's heart swells five sizes in his chest. Unable to stop himself, he pulls Akaashi forward by the connection between them and embraces him firmly. At first, Akaashi is inert in his hold, but then stiffly, he starts to return the hug, his hands finding purchase on Koutarou's shoulder blades. The hands rub over the area slightly, as if letting Koutarou know they're there. He merely smiles and squeezes back, utterly content.

"I'm going to make it alright," he promises into Akaashi's ear. "You don't have to worry about me or my reputation."

It's a promise he fully intends on keeping.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening finds them standing on a familiar doorstep, Koutarou feeling determined and Akaashi strangely tolerant given the location. As they wait for the door to open, Koutarou nudges Akaashi with his shoulder, stating, "You know, he's pretty involved by now, so I thought we should brainstorm with him."

"I never said he wasn't, Bokuto-san."

"So you'll play nice?"

"We'll have to see," Akaashi answers cryptically, folding his arms over his chest. He looks resigned though, Koutarou thinks.

Just then, the door swings open, revealing a beaming Kuroo, who had responded all too eagerly to Koutarou's earlier phone call asking if they could come over.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it. Welcome to my humble ab-"

Inspiration strikes Koutarou, and he blurts out his next words, drowning out the rest of Kuroo's statement.

"You mean, your love nest, right?" he says, squinting at Kuroo pointedly. 

Koutarou still hasn't forgotten the information he learned earlier that day, the secret that Kuroo had been keeping from him for who knows how long. That he and Kenma weren't just roommates. And truthfully, a part of him is hurt that he was never let into the loop about it. He's always shared all but his darkest secrets with his best friend, and naturally had expected the same kind of confiding from him in return. 

But apparently he isn't trustworthy enough.

Kuroo stops then, realization washing over his features. He then raises a hand behind his head, combing at his wild mane guiltily.

"Oh, right. K-Kenma told me you found out about us."

Pressing forward, Koutarou frowns.

"Dude, I thought we were friends. Why'd you never say anything?"

Beside him, he thinks he can feel Akaashi staring intently in Kuroo's direction. To what end, Koutarou isn't sure, but maybe Akaashi thinks Kuroo has been foolish too. The notion makes him feel warm inside, like he's being looked out for.

"Honestly... we haven't told anyone, other than Kenma's parents. When he moved in with me, and we wanted a place with one bedroom... it was just kind of a conversation that we were forced to have. They'd already guessed on their own by that point that Kenma and I weren't only friends, so it was easy enough to do. But my dad? I'm lucky he doesn't care enough to ask those questions. You know how he is, Bo," Kuroo explains, his face going grim at the mention of his dad. 

They've always had a distant relationship compared to the one Koutarou has with his parents, or even Kenma has with his. Mostly, he stays out of Kuroo's life except for when he has to be present. What they have isn't much, so Koutarou thinks it'd probably be hard to tell how he'd react to Kuroo's news. It could be good, or it could be bad. Or really bad.

He gives Kuroo a faint nod, prompting him to continue.

"As for other people, I don't know. I guess I thought it was easier if we told no one, in order to not slip up and tell the wrong person. It's not that I don't trust you specifically, I just... that's what I decided when Kenma and I got together. For our own protection," Kuroo finishes, lowering his head somewhat shamefully.

"I'm not the wrong person, though," Koutarou insists.

"No, you're not," Kuroo answers him. "Look - I'm really sorry I never said anything, buddy. I know you never would have been anything other than totally cool with it. I apologize."

Koutarou considers the apology.

Standing across from him, Kuroo appears fully contrite. And if there's something he knows about his friend, it's that he would never deceive him in order to hurt him. The more he thinks about it, the more he can see Kuroo's reasoning, too. Coming out to the wrong person could easily spell disaster. It's not that unreasonable to want to limit the number of people who know about his relationship for that reason. It just stings a little that Koutarou had been on the larger list of people who didn't know, and not inside his circle of trust.

But he can understand it. He can even forgive it, on one condition.

"It's okay... but don't leave me out anymore, alright? You know you can talk to me about anything, dude. I know I can with you so, let's have it go both ways, huh?"

"Absolutely. I can't think of anyone better to talk to."

Kuroo brightens up then, and waves a hand in their direction. "Why don't you guys come inside?"

"One more thing first, Kuroo-san," Akaashi interjects beside Koutarou. He turns to look at his boyfriend - thinking about it elicits a few gentle butterflies in his stomach - and waits to see what will come of this interruption.

But Akaashi doesn't reveal what it is straight away. A measured silence plays out before he speaks, and during it, Kuroo looks as surprised as Koutarou feels.

"I... wanted to thank you."

If Kuroo had been surprised then, it only magnified after hearing that.

"Even though it doesn't seem to have worked, I appreciate you stepping in to help with this operation. I fully realize now that it could have strained your own relationship for you to participate, and that you did despite that is... nice," Akaashi finishes, nose wrinkling as if his word choice isn't to his liking. Or maybe he's just struggling with being kind to Kuroo, Koutarou thinks, wondering if that's closer to the truth. Still, it's a good first step for them, he notes.

Kuroo remains wide-eyed when he responds, "No problem. I know I joked about it, but I had no intention of kissing you, or doing anything that would have seriously been a problem for Kenma. But I thought it might still work if we didn't, so I said yes. Sucks that it didn't."

Akaashi nods.

"I'm glad to hear that. I certainly wouldn't have appreciated it."

Koutarou smiles at those words. It isn't hard for him to picture Akaashi's reaction. His own reaction wouldn't have been good either, he realizes. Now that he knows he cares for Akaashi in that way though, it's easier to guess that he would have been jealous if Kuroo and him had kissed. Yes, he thinks to himself with only a hint of irritation, he wouldn't have liked it.

Kuroo laughs, a barky sound that splits through the otherwise calm atmosphere.

"Nope, I would have been limping away in that case. But seriously, Akaashi, it's fine. I'd do anything to help out Bo, and he was the one who asked me to do this in the first place. Besides, the friend of my friend... might as well be my friend, too."

"Perhaps from here on out, we can be real friends."

Koutarou's smile broadens. Across from them, Kuroo seems surprised once more, but soon recovers.

"I'd like that. You're not that bad."

"The jury is still out, Kuroo-san, but you have some points in your favor," Akaashi replies in a tone that's almost gracious.

Koutarou supposes it will have to do. Still, he feels pretty proud of his boyfriend right now, and excited at the prospect of the future. If he can get these two on the same page, then he can spend even more time with his favorite people.

"Okay, I'll take that, I guess. Now seriously, guys, come on in."

Dutifully, they follow Kuroo inside the apartment.

It's small, like theirs, maybe a bit smaller without the second bedroom included, but the living room and kitchen are open concept unlike theirs, making the space feel roomy enough. When they get inside, they spot Kenma at the dining table, tapping away at a laptop at a blistering speed. He doesn't look up as they trail in, only lifting his head when they gather around the table and take seats. Even then, his greeting is little more than an acknowledging nod of his head.

Koutarou is used to this, however, so he doesn't mind. Kenma's usually a person of few words, except when you get him on certain subjects. He doesn't expect the same kind of greeting as he'd get from most people.

Still, once they're all in place around the table, Kenma is the one to speak first.

"So... are you going to tell me who the guy is?" he poses to Akaashi, wasting no time in asking.

Akaashi surprisingly also doesn't hesitate, like Koutarou thought he might. Instead he turns right to Kenma and answers the question.

"His name is Omi Taishirou. He attends my literature lecture."

Running the name over in his mind, Koutarou is disappointed to realize he doesn't recognize it. All this time, he's been wondering if he would know the guy bothering Akaashi, especially since the guy seems more than aware of his existence. But the truth is, the name Omi doesn't ring any bells.

Koutarou hums blandly and watches Kenma start to type on his laptop again. He can only assume he's looking the guy up, though how Kenma will find the information he needs is a mystery. But that's why Kenma is Kenma; sometimes he just knows things. Things that Koutarou wouldn't know in a million years. Kenma isn't naturally some kind of computer genius, but ever since he'd started taking the classes in university, Koutarou has noticed an uptick in his abilities, Kenma taking to the field like a duck to water. 

While he's occupied, Kuroo casts a searching gaze around the table.

"So, team, what's the status?" he asks, eyes darting between Koutarou and Akaashi.

"Not much different than how we left things the other day, Kuroo-san."

"Yeah, we haven't done anything else."

"Okay," Kuroo says, stretching out the word, "so we have one asshole who's still in need of dealing with. Got it."

At those words, Koutarou's mind perks up. He knows it's a long shot, considering they'd called together this whole brainstorming session and everything, but he's been thinking. Thinking that perhaps in this case, the best thing to do would be to do nothing. The problem is, he's not sure anyone will agree with him. Not in general, and especially not after all the effort that has been put into this situation already. Which he acknowledges, as he acknowledges that the plan was his to begin with, but now that the tide has turned, Koutarou wonders if trying a new tack might be beneficial.

Raising his hand, he calls attention to himself.

"Actually, can I say something?"

When the other two look at him, Koutarou initiates his spiel.

"Look, I know I asked you guys to pretend to be together in the first place, and I obviously messed up big on that one."

Akaashi's eyes flash, and Koutarou feels an incoming interruption, but stops it by putting up his hand.

"It didn't work. And I know we're kind of here to think of the next step, but I was thinking.... I don't really care about what this guy says he's going to do. I'm not afraid of him. So why should we tiptoe around as if we are? That would be like admitting he got to us. And I really don't want to give him the satisfaction. So maybe... we don't do anything. We live our lives and just ignore him. Don't let him win. And stuff," he finishes lamely, glancing around at his friends to gauge their reaction.

As he expected, it's not exactly a glowing reception. Akaashi in particular appears frustrated to him, eyes narrowed and lips drawn in a taut line on his face.

Clearly holding back in tone, he answers Koutarou's speech.

"No, Bokuto-san. This problem isn't going to go away on its own."

"But it might!" Koutarou jumps in, "It's only a problem if we let it be! I personally don't care what this Omi says. I only hate that he's bothering you."

" _I_  care," Akaashi cuts in passionately, his voice nearly trembling. He stares at Koutarou as if trying to imprint the words upon his brain through eye contact alone. "Please stop trying to be so brave about this. I would much rather we tried what we could to avoid the consequences."

"I'm not being brave," he replies stubbornly. "Who cares what one guy says he can do? He's just a person."

Just then, a low voice interrupts their banter.

"A person whose father is a talent scout for the top sports agency in Tokyo..." Kenma notes, looking up from his laptop. "He wasn't bluffing about his connections."

"See?" Akaashi says once Kenma is done talking. 

Koutarou huffs out an irritable breath and says nothing. He folds his arms across his chest instead, retreating inside his brain to regroup.

Apparently, the Omi guy did have some pull after all. While Koutarou is surprised by that, the larger part of him is sticking to his gut feeling - to do nothing. Call him crazy, but he truly feels like it is the best way. Maybe he isn't the brains in the group, but his plans did work... sometimes. Part of the time. On occasion. Okay, so maybe just once in awhile, but the thing was, they worked most often when he feels like this - confident of the path ahead. That has to count for something.

"Hey, have you considered reporting him for harassment? Maybe to a professor?" Kuroo throws out.

Akaashi shakes his head slowly.

"I did consider that initially, but I figured given the threats he was making, that he would only retaliate if I did that."

"Darn."

"I only wish it were that simple."

It could be, Koutarou thinks traitorously to himself. But he doesn't say it. After all, it's not like he purposely wants to antagonize Akaashi. He does care about his opinion. Even if they have different ones on this matter, Koutarou still respects what he has to say.

"What if you took the first shot?" Kenma asks suddenly.

Akaashi glances at him strangely.

"What do you mean?"

"Get some dirt on Omi, and spread it around. Exactly like he was planning to do to Bokuto. Except you get to him first."

Akaashi hums at that suggestion thoughtfully. Meanwhile, Koutarou wrinkles his nose as he considers the idea.

"And how would I do that?"

"I could hack into his email, if you needed it. It isn't that hard."

At that pronouncement, the three of them at the table who aren't Kenma look at him with twinned looks of astonishment. Across from Koutarou, Kuroo takes it a step further, the expression on his face undergoing a journey from astonishment to poorly-veiled worry. He lets out a short, terse laugh.

"I guess I need to watch out for my email, then," he jokes, eyes sliding over to Kenma anxiously.

"And your browser history, too," Kenma says without missing a beat.

"Kenma!"

For a second, Koutarou almost feels bad for his friend, as he clearly looks panicked. But then he sees the expression on Kenma's face shift, and he relaxes back into his seat. It looks far too amused to be credibly serious.

"Kidding, Kuro," he explains. "I wouldn't invade your privacy like that."

Kenma stares only at him, and Kuroo returns the pointed gaze. They watch each other for several long moments.

"Thanks."

Kuroo's hand slides under the table to hold Kenma's free one. Koutarou smiles to himself at the display.

It's nice, seeing the affection between the two of them for what it really is now, now that he knows about them dating. Truthfully, it explains many similar episodes of banter and interactions over the years that Koutarou always took as them being exceptionally close friends. And, if he's being completely introspective, him not noticing at first explains how easily he missed similar cues that Akaashi and he were something more than platonic toward each other. 

So, he's not observant, he notes. But he does manage to get there in the end, usually, which makes it okay.

Still grinning, he looks sideways at Akaashi, who offers him a faint lift of the lips.

He'll take it.

"I take it you think you can find something worth spreading around then. In his email, I mean," Akaashi notes quietly after a minute has passed. Everyone looks over at him.

"I have other things I can try if it doesn't," Kenma replies.

Rooted to his chair, Koutarou considers the plan. In a way, it would be like divine justice to smear Omi's name before he could do the same to him. He was the one who deserved to be knocked down a few pegs. What he was doing to Akaashi wasn't defensible in any way. No, if they went ahead with this tactic, it would seem pretty justifiable. But still, Koutarou thinks, he doesn't like the idea. He wouldn't feel good doing it, and what was the point if he didn't? He can't see going through with it.

"I don't like it," he announces, determined to make himself heard.

"What don't you like?"

"This," Koutarou says before elaborating, "To me, it seems like we'd just be stooping to his level, and I don't know that I'm comfortable with that."

Akaashi sighs.

"Well then, what do you propose we do, Bokuto-san? We don't exactly have a wealth of options."

Stubbornly, his earlier thoughts resurface in his mind.

"Why don't we just ignore him? So what if he has connections, that's only one scout out of many. I'm not worried that he can do anything to me."

Just then, Akaashi's hand balls up into a fist on the table, and smacks against it, the noise cutting through Koutarou's words.

"I'll say it again," Akaashi starts, and the way he starts to tremble causes Koutarou to stop and listen, worried for how riled up he's getting. This isn't typical for him, not at all. He's never seen Akaashi so emotive. "I can't just do nothing. If something happened to deter you from your dreams, I could never forgive myself.  _Please_ , try to see it from my perspective, Bokuto-san. I don't want... I don't want you to have regrets either."

"Akaashi-" Koutarou says lamely, before swallowing down the lump in his throat. He doesn't want to make Akaashi sad, or worried. That's definitely not what he's trying to do, but he still feels bad that he has managed to do it anyway. Maybe he's worse at helping than he thought.

"Please."

That tone breaks his heart a little, but in that moment, Koutarou feels certain of what he needs to say. Akaashi is logical, and appealing to him that way is the best way that he can think of. Even when he's being more emotional.

"I'm only saying this because I have thought about it," he follows up, speaking slowly and calmly as he can, hoping that the cadence of his speech will rub off on his boyfriend. "You said yourself that this guy isn't the type to listen to reason. So we can't reason with him. If we personally attack him, then we're just as bad. And he'll probably still do what he said he would. So that doesn't work either. Honestly, from what I know about him, he sounds like no matter what we do, he'll still try to mess with my reputation because he's just a jerk like that. So, the only thing we can do is try to lessen the damage."

Akaashi stares at him silently, as if taking in the options. He's no longer trembling, which Koutarou takes as a good sign. Still, he puts a hand out to rub at Akaashi's shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm not saying any of this to go against you. I know you're worried about me. And that makes a part of me really happy, weird as it sounds. I'm grateful that you care at all-"

"I care deeply," Akaashi interjects, eyes rising to make contact with Koutarou's. "More than you know."

Koutarou's heart starts to beat faster at that, pounding inside his chest fervently.

Akaashi really does like him. 

He knows that's true, but to have it proved true is almost overwhelming to him.

Lowering his hand, he grabs Akaashi's out of pure instinct. For a second, Akaashi just stares at their linked hands, but then he laces his fingers with Koutarou's, and lets out a steadying breath. They stay that way for a few peaceful moments until they are interrupted.

"Hey... I'm just going out on a limb here," Kuroo says, eyebrow raised, "But have you two changed your relationship status?"

Koutarou beams.

"Yes! Akaashi is my boyfriend now," he remarks proudly, squeezing the guy in question's fingers.

"Ohoho, congratulations on finally figuring that out!" Kuroo crows, "I knew you'd get there in the end, Bo. One day it was bound to make it through that thick skull of yours that he's your s _owl_ mate."

Akaashi rolls his eyes.

"Thank you for that illuminating response, Kuroo-san."

"I never thought of that line!" Koutarou notes idly. "But that's a good one."

"I suppose I can expect to hear it at least fifty more times then."

"Nah, I can think of other ones." And he can, Koutarou thinks. He's always been good with puns, far better than Kuroo thinks that he is.

"Splendid," Akaashi replies in his blandest tone. "Now can we get back on track?"

"Sorry," Kuroo apologizes. "Go on, Bo, what were you saying?"

Koutarou's lips purse as he tries to regain his train of thought. What was his conclusion again? In a flash, it comes back to him.

"Oh! I was saying that I think all we can do at this point is lessen the damage of what the Omi guy will do. So I was thinking - what if we turn it around on him? Instead of attacking him though, what if we tell everyone what he was planning on saying first? We could tell people that me and Akaashi are together, so then it'll be common knowledge. Then when he tries to spread that around, everyone will already know and they won't care. It won't be a bad thing then."

"I don't know, Bokuto-san. I think you're underestimating people's ability to be cruel about that information."

"No, see," Koutarou tells him, "If we say it first, then we're making it so that people can't turn it into a scandal. They can't be mean or gossip about it because it's out in the open. We'll tell them and that will be it. End of story."

Akaashi looks at him pensively, but doesn't come back with a response. Below the table, Koutarou can feel his fingers twitch slightly in his hold.

In the end, it's Kenma who speaks up next.

“I think Bokuto may be right about that. It will cause less uproar if people hear it from you, rather from someone who wants them to think it’s damaging information.”

At that, Akaashi relents.

"Alright. If you think that’s the best way, Bokuto-san, I’ll go along with it. I’m just afraid of what might happen.”

Koutarou glances at him significantly and squeezes his hand tight in reassurance.

“Don’t be. If anything, people are gonna think I’m lucky, getting to be with someone as amazing as you, ‘Kaashi.”

The tender moment between them lasts only half a second before it is interrupted by a barky laugh.

“Wow, if that isn’t the sappiest line I’ve heard in awhile! Gr-oss,” Kuroo states, eyes alive with a teasing light.

Immediately, Koutarou sees Kenma turn to glare at him.

“That’s rich… coming from you, Kuro. You never stop with lines like that.”

Kuroo's face soon goes from mischievous to offended.

“I thought you  _liked_  my lines, Kenma.”

“My silence isn’t approval.”

"Rude!" Kuroo squawks.

Just then, Akaashi coughs. Loudly.

"Ignoring all of that," he says, pointedly scowling in Kuroo's direction before turning back, "Thank you, Bokuto-san." To him, he flashes a smile, lips quirking at the corners. "I feel rather lucky myself."

Koutarou grins proudly.

"So we have a plan," he notes, glancing around the table. With varying levels of enthusiasm, the other three nod at him. "Great!"

Things will be fine from here on out, Koutarou thinks.

Now that they have a plan, he feels less worried. He knows they will tackle whatever comes their way, and they’ll do it together.

 

* * *

 

“See, what did I tell you, Akaashi?” he exclaims as they exit the gym.

Koutarou feels vindicated. Even if it wasn’t a boisterous reception, his teammates have accepted their fledgling relationship as just another eccentricity of his. That’s all he can really hope for; he’s grown used to some of them thinking he’s a bit odd. He can deal with odd. So long as they don’t hate him, it’s all good. And as long as it’s all good, he thinks Akaashi will feel better about it.

Glancing around, he notices for the first time what a beautiful day it is.

The sun is out overhead, a golden glow in the otherwise pure blue sky that rains down light, warming them from above. All of the trees on campus are radiant, in the full throes of the leaves changing color for autumn. Reds, oranges, and yellows line the pathway they're walking on, making for a colorful trek. There's a crispness to the air too that makes him take pause. It's perfect.

"I'll admit I was nervous for that entire meeting," Akaashi says, drawing him out of his thoughts. "I wasn't certain that they would all take it so well."

"Well, it isn't Fukurodani, but they're all pretty good guys," Koutarou replies thoughtfully.

"You're fortunate they are," Akaashi reminds him.

"But I knew they would be," he insists. "I'm telling you, nothing is gonna stand in my way here. Omi can go and suck it, because just having a dad who's in the business isn't enough to control everything. I know I'm focused on playing my best, so the scouts will see that."

"I hope you are right."

Koutarou grins at him.

"Just wait and see!"

Feeling upbeat, he puts a little more pep in his step. As they walk down the path, his hand bumps against Akaashi's.

He doesn't hesitate.

Reaching over, he links their fingers, and reiterates in his own head how well they fit together, even if Akaashi's fingers are longer and bonier than his are. Humming happily, Koutarou rubs his thumb against the side of Akaashi's hand, gently feeling out his warmth.

"This is okay, right?" he asks, just to be sure.

"If this is the way we're handling things, then yes. I... I don't mind being public, as long as it will not harm you," Akaashi answers, tone a little shy to his estimation.

Koutarou wrinkles his nose.

"Yeah, I just want to be sure it's okay with you, holding hands. You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable yet," he adds.

In response, Akaashi grips his hand like a vice, and then, obviously realizing he's cutting off circulation, he backs off to hold Koutarou's hand firm, but not dangerously tight.

“I wouldn’t dream of letting go. You don’t realize how long I’ve wanted this,” he says, this time sounding resolute.

Koutarou's heart pounds, and his mouth runs dry.

"Oh? How long?"

"A few months after we met in high school. I knew fairly soon that I felt something for you."

"Really?" Koutarou breathes out in surprise.

"Yes," Akaashi answers solemnly. "At first I did try to ignore it, given that it would only prove a nuisance, but eventually I couldn't anymore. I had to accept that you were not only my friend, and at the same time, I thought I had to accept that that was all you ever could be to me."

"Akaashi, that's a lot to have to accept."

"Well, yes. But you didn't seem to notice me in that way, so I was being practical. I thought you liked girls, Bokuto-san," he clarifies quietly, fingers twitching in Koutarou's hold. "Which was fine, sometimes. Other times, I felt greedier, like I was burning up for you to return what I felt. Those times scared me, so I tried to keep to myself then as much as possible. You might have noticed that in the times when I was more distant to you."

"Oh? I thought you just needed a break. People say I'm overwhelming most of the time," Koutarou says, feeling a little stab of sadness as he calls on those memories. It had hurt, effectively being told you're an annoyance, and too much to handle. That your personality is draining.

It had hurt a lot.

But he'd also heard it from a lot of people, which probably meant that it was true.

Suddenly, Akaashi squeezes their linked hands. He turns to Koutarou, eyes flashing with something like fire in their murky green depths.

"I have never once needed a break from you, Bokuto-san. I like how you are. You don't need to change."

He can't help it, he stares at Akaashi.

"Not once?" he asks, scarcely able to believe the wording.

"Not once," Akaashi affirms. "I am not just tolerating you or dealing with you. I genuinely like the person you are."

Koutarou's eyes water at that statement, the tears building up at the corners of his lids in little clumps, ready to fall at any further prompting.

"Thank you," he murmurs thickly, lips trembling until they form a shaky smile.

Akaashi leans forward. His free hand raises to Koutarou's face, and wipes away the moisture before it can go anywhere.

"You don't have to thank me. I am simply telling the truth."

"But I'm really happy!" Koutarou protests, grabbing the other hand and holding it within his own. "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you, Akaashi. Like this, as a friend, and just in my life in general. You might think I'm good, but if I'm good, then you're a great person!"

At that, Akaashi seems to flush, the barest hint of red coating his features.

"I'll accept that, since you are saying it, Bokuto-san. Now though, let's settle down a bit," he suggests, eying the way they are clutching both hands in between their bodies. Koutarou follows his gaze and flushes for real, skin ripening like a tomato. They are in public, after all. They should probably tone it down. Besides, he's pretty much said what he needed to say. And Akaashi had taken it for what it was. 

"Let's just talk about normal things."

"Okay," Koutarou agrees, letting go of one of Akaashi's hands so that they're back to the way they were before, and swings their linked hands between them as they walk. "What?"

"Well, there is always classes. We are on campus."

Koutarou makes a face at that. Still, it's not like that topic doesn't give him anything to talk about.

"I got a test in economics coming up," he divulges, still frowning. "It's next week and there's about ten million chapters to study before then!"

Akaashi hums thoughtfully.

"I find the best way to deal with a lot of material is to not try to tackle it all at once. Break it up into smaller units, and study a little at a time. You'll overload your brain if you do the opposite," he instructs. "For example, take two chapters that feed into each other and study just those one night."

He considers the idea. Two chapters sounds a lot less overwhelming than ten, if he's being honest. He can probably tackle that just fine.

"Okay."

"If you want, I'll sit with you and we can draw up a schedule. That's how I study."

"Oh, I remember!" Koutarou crows, recalling the times Akaashi would go straight home after volleyball practice in high school because it was a studying night. "You're more diligent than me, though."

Cocking his head, he adds, "That is the right way to use diligent, right?"

"Yes, Bokuto-san." 

"Say, I'm hungry. How about you?" Koutarou asks, changing the subject swiftly. Classes have never been a favorite topic of his to dwell on.

"I'll bet if you think about it, you'd know the answer to that, too," Akaashi says jokingly.

"So you are then!" Koutarou beams. Akaashi's right, he does know that much about him, and because he does, he knows that Akaashi's almost always up for food. "Wanna grab lunch, maybe takoyaki at Shinji's or something? We've already done what we planned to do today, so it should be fine!"

"I'd never turn down a free meal."

Koutarou double-takes.

"Hey, when did I say it would be free?!"

Akaashi laughs at him, albeit from behind his other hand. The light sound, rather than goading Koutarou, makes his heart lift higher in his chest. And so he gives in. Easily.

"Okay, okay, I'll pay for you. Consider it our first date, alright?" he says, pulse going wild on the inside.

It's only right that they have an official first date, Koutarou thinks. He wants to do this properly.

"You know, eating at a food stall is hardly the height of romance, Bokuto-san..." Akaashi starts to reply. Instantly, Koutarou feels a lump form in his throat before he continues, "But, lucky for you, I don't have a romantic bone in my body. I'd love to get takoyaki with you."

Koutarou breathes out a sigh of relief, the lump evaporating as quickly as it formed. 

"Don't be like that, Akaashi."

"Or you'll do what, exactly?"

"I don't know!" Koutarou exclaims indignantly. "But just I dunno, be nicer to me. I am your boyfriend!"

"Yes, you are. Which means I don't plan on going easy on you."

Koutarou huffs.

It looks like he's going to have to watch himself from here on out, if that much is different. And here he thought he'd get a free pass because they were dating now. Apparently all it means is that Akaashi is going to be wittier than ever with him in his comebacks.

They turn a corner then, and Akaashi is still smirking at him, that is, until he turns to face forward. When he does, his expression goes dull, and he grinds to a halt, hand squeezing Koutarou's too tight again. Pulled along by his inertia, Koutarou stops too on the sidewalk, and glances ahead of them.

There's a guy there, standing a few feet away.

He's glaring at them.

"Omi."

At that name, Koutarou's mood swiftly changes. He squeezes Akaashi's hand back just as hard, if only to reassure him that he's there.

Before he can say anything to add to that though, the guy advances.

"That sure doesn't look like your boyfriend from the other day," Omi says tersely, stopping in front of them. "Stepping out on him, are we?"

Beside him, Akaashi stiffens up to full height.

“I believe you know yesterday was a ruse,” he answers coolly. “It was only necessary because someone has an issue understanding the word ‘no.’”

"I don’t understand a lot of things that don’t make sense. Like you rejecting me when I made you a perfectly nice offer.”

“That’s bullshit,” Koutarou intervenes. “All you did was threaten him.”

"Oh, so he can talk! Hey there, new boyfriend. Or should I say,  _Bokuto-san_? I guess things worked out for you, Akaashi. He was the one you were so hot for. Looks like you owe me one after all, now that you can get fucked by your preci-."

"That's enough!" Akaashi snarls out, "I owe you a restraining order, if anything."

"Now, now," Omi says, spreading his hands out in front of him, "I wouldn't be talking like that to me."

"You deserve it," Koutarou states. "I can't believe you think you can get away with being such an asshole to him."

"You know, I've never actually met you before, Bokuto. I've watched you play, of course. Anyone who goes to this school and follows sports has seen you perform. But you're not as intimidating close up as I thought you would be. You're kind of... lacking. Not very impressive."

"That's rich, coming from a piece of dirt like you," he growls, feeling his other hand ball up into a fist.

"Piece of dirt? Is that your best comeback, mister ace? Or is it 'asshole?' Because I'm feeling very offended," Omi replies, dark eyes twinkling with some intent. "And I think you'll find that offending me has its consequences."

"I've already heard all about that," Koutarou waves him off, "And guess what? I also already told my team what Akaashi means to me. So go right ahead and try, they won't care. I could care less about your dad, too."

Satisfyingly, that remark seems to get through to Omi, whose face goes from gloating to suspicious in the space of a second. He stares back at Koutarou as if sizing him up, and he doesn’t seem to like what he finds, if his next frown is any indicator.

“You’re bluffing.”

“He isn’t,” Akaashi says, voice light with certainty. “We just got back from telling the team about us.”

Omi seems to balk at that, eyes snapping between the two of them rapidly before he takes a step back.

“As if they’d actually approve of it…”

“Oh, but they did,” Akaashi responds, and in that moment, Koutarou is so, so proud of how unfazed he sounds. “Sure, they were surprised, but they wished us well. I guess that’s that for your plan, then.”

“Don’t get too cocky. I’m sure plenty of people won’t be as excited to hear about your little love affair,” Omi threatens, “I’ll find a way to make sure you pay for turning me down.”

“No,” Akaashi says matter-of-factly, “You won’t.”

Koutarou smirks, just because he can.

“I think you’d be better off shutting up,” he interjects coolly, “Considering you’re not gonna get anywhere.”

Visibly fuming, Omi stares between them once more, and then huffs, sticking both hands in his jeans pockets. He launches a full on scowl their way, but rather than intimidating, it just fuels their certainty in their victory even more. Right now, Omi feels pathetic, and Koutarou regrets ever thinking he could be a real bother to them.

It’s clear now that he’s nothing but an angry, grasping jerk. And one that they don’t have to worry about anymore.

“If that’s all, I think we’ll be going,” Akaashi states, tugging on Koutarou’s hand. He nods at him in response.

“You two fucking deserve each other,” Omi snarls. “Now get lost.”

“Gladly. And thank you.”

With that, they depart, pushing past Omi with flourish, still walking hand in hand. Less than a minute later, they turn another corner and leave him behind for good.  _Good riddance_ , Koutarou thinks savagely, but isn’t even a bit sorry about it.

Eventually, when they reach a spot a safe distance away, Koutarou turns to Akaashi, pulling him flush against him in a hug. They embrace tightly for a few quiet moments, grasping at each other as trying to meld into a single being. When they do try to speak, it's almost at the same time.

"I-"

"Are you alright, babe?" Koutarou asks searchingly, pulling back so that his eyes can rove over Akaashi's features.

"...Babe?" Akaashi questions, the word coming off awkward on his tongue.

"Oh," Koutarou realizes, "Sorry, I didn't ask if you were comfortable with that kind of name. It just kind of slipped out?"

"I... don't mind it, surprisingly," he answers, placing a hand on Koutarou's shoulder for security. "Though I'm not sure if it suits me."

"It does to me, but I don't have to call you that."

"No, Bokuto-san, it's fine. I'll take whatever you want to call me. Within reason. I'd rather not have anything more... saccharine, if you were thinking of going that direction."

"Nah," he replies casually. "That really wouldn't suit you. You're too cool, Akaashi."

"I'm glad you think so, even if I don't agree."

"One day, I'm gonna get you to!" Koutarou promises with gusto. "Now though, are you doing okay? I know that was kinda... difficult to say the least."

Akaashi nods.

"It was, but it was also... satisfying, too. I didn't think your plan would be so effective toward him. But he backed off rather easily once he realized that he couldn't do anything to hurt us. I suppose I was building up his ability to do that in my head far too high."

“That makes sense though. You were worried, so it’s kinda natural for your worries to take over.”

“I suppose so.” Akaashi sighs in a long, drawn-out way. “I just wish this problem could have been avoided in the first place. It was not pleasant to deal with.”

“But hey, look what we got out of it!” Koutarou points out. “If he’d never bothered you in the first place, you probably would’ve kept on liking me and never saying a word about it. Because you probably thought it wouldn’t work out, or you were better off not saying anything, or something silly like that, eh, Akaashi?”

He’s not a bit surprised by the frown the other launches at him then. Koutarou beams in response.

“If you must know, Bokuto-san, yes. I assumed that you would keep on being  _completely and totally oblivious_ to my affections.”

“Hey!” he snaps back playfully, “That’s not very nice to say about your boyfriend.”

“I believe I already stated that I had no intentions of going easy on you. I’ve been waiting years for this, Bokuto-san. Surely you can stand up to a little teasing in return.”

Koutarou lets out a whine, but then relents.

“I guess so. But only because you’re cute,” he adds, detaching from their hold to cup Akaashi’s face as if to make his point.

The faintest dusting of red paints itself over Akaashi’s face.

“I’d say what I think of your appearance, Bokuto-san, but I don’t want to stroke your ego that much.”

Instead of answering, Koutarou fixes his stare to Akaashi’s. His hand shifts slightly, thumb sliding along the curve of Akaashi’s jaw. He grins again when he sees Akaashi’s eyes drop to his lips, even if they only remain there for the briefest of seconds. It’s telling enough to clue him in that he isn’t the only one having certain thoughts.

Leaning in, he kisses Akaashi.

The action elicits a surprised murmur against his lips, and it tickles in the best sort of way, so Koutarou murmurs something unintelligible back, and then presses firmer against Akaashi’s mouth. His hands come up to cup both sides of Akaashi’s face, holding him in place as they kiss. Again and again, they clash with each other, soft lips melding together in a dizzying rhythm. Koutarou’s fingers soon scoot back, rubbing at the lobes of Akaashi’s ears.

That makes him part his lips to utter a soft groan, which Koutarou takes as a good sign. He swallows the groan first, and then tentatively searches forth with his tongue, slipping it into Akaashi’s mouth. There it’s met by his tongue, and they too, feel each other out once before pulling away. It’s only to catch his breath that Koutarou retreats; if their oxygen permitted, he’d want to spend hours kissing Akaashi. He’s only done it twice now, but he already knows that he loves it more than most things.

“I must say, this is different than how I imagined it.”

“Oh?” Koutarou questions.

“The real thing is better,” Akaashi admits.

That causes him to smile, lips quirking up at the corners. Koutarou moves his hands yet again, dropping them onto Akaashi’s shoulders.

“Just think,” he says, “We can do this whenever we want.”

“That’s a dangerous thought, but a nice one. Though, I wouldn’t mind a more private venue for this sort of thing next time.”

No, Koutarou thinks as his pulse speeds up,  _that_ ’s the dangerous thought. Taken in context it sounds positively suggestive, and he isn’t sure that Akaashi doesn’t mean it exactly like that. Oh well, he adds inwardly, it’s not like he doesn’t want to go along with it. He’ll take any excuse to spend more time with Akaashi, and this is definitely one of the better ones.

“Takoyaki, then home?” he suggests.

“Takoyaki and then home,” Akaashi repeats intensely.

Koutarou beams.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of both good and bad events, but somehow they’ve come out the other side together. They’ve persevered. And despite the heaps of stress and the planning and the eventual confrontation, he’d do it all again to make it to where he’s standing now. Maybe he’d trade Akaashi’s stress for his own if he could, but that’s about it.

Taking Akaashi’s hand in his again as they start walking, Koutarou feels his heart beat erratically.

He suspects it’s not going to calm down for a while.

But that’s alright - he can deal.

From what he knows of love in media and real life examples, it’s supposed to feel a lot like this.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading if you made it this far! if you have a moment, let me know your thoughts.
> 
> or you can always find me on tumblr [@risquetendencies](http://risquetendencies.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> finally, a huge thanks to @darthyard for beta-ing this story!


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